


This Is How We End

by wckdflares



Category: The Maze Runner (Movies), The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types, The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, I randomly got sad over newt at 3 am and this is the result, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Mentions of Suicide, Not Canon Compliant, Sad Ending, i really like this concept though so might edit or rewrite later, lol this is so bad and pretty unfinished at the end, this is just some depressing shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-26
Updated: 2018-08-26
Packaged: 2019-07-02 18:46:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15802407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wckdflares/pseuds/wckdflares
Summary: Newt’s worst fears of losing himself to the Flare virus might just be out of his control





	This Is How We End

”Just leave me!” Newt croaked as loudly as he possibly could with his swollen throat. Either nobody heard him past the explosions and screams around them or just chose not to acknowledge his morbid request. 

 

Maybe it was a good thing because even if Newt had written that line in his letter with so much confidence at the time, he knew now he was, in fact, afraid of dying. The thought of dying alone in these burning streets terrified him. 

 

Newt gripped Minho and Thomas’ shoulders tighter as they followed close behind Gally, ducking into a dark empty alleyway. 

 

They both gently sat him down against a metal structure. Newt groaned as the aches that plagued his entire body intensified at the movement. His left leg, a horrible injury from his past, throbbed and brought back all the traumatic memories along with it. 

 

He was soaked from the freezing water he had jumped into minutes earlier and the sweat from the raging fever he had developed a couple hours ago. 

 

It wasn't all this pain and the physical symptoms that scared him the most though, it was his mind that seemed to be slipping more and more with each second. 

 

The veil of blackness that cloaked his vision and the whispering voices in his head had already overpowered him once. He could feel that same unnatural rage beginning to build up and he couldn't let himself lose it again. 

 

”Chuck, Alby, Winston, -” Newt began his usual routine of repeating his fallen friend's names to himself. Picturing their faces was what gave him every ounce of strength to push the virus away. 

 

A familiar roaring noise from above was what pulled him away from his chants. He tilted his head back, ignoring the pain that shot up his neck, to see what the other three were looking at. 

 

A berg soared overhead. For a minute a rare burst of joy overcame Newt as he thought about leaving this war zone with his three friends to the promised safe haven. It was quickly dispersed when the reality of the situation hit hard once again. 

 

”That's them! We gotta go!” Urgency and a tinge of excitement were evident in Thomas’ voice.

 

Based on the way he felt from just sitting there, Newt figured there had to be a pretty good chance he wasn't walking on his own in the limited time left in his life. There was no way they could make it through this chaos to the berg. Newt was holding them all back and he refused to let it happen any longer. 

 

”Go without me.” Newt couldn't stop the sob that came out with the words. 

 

It felt as if someone had lit a match to his lungs   
and his stomach had been twisted into a knot. Minho and Thomas made an attempt to pull him back up and he gave into ever-growing nausea. 

 

Newt vomited a black substance that almost seemed to be his very insides poisoned by the virus. He was pretty sure it was Minho that held him as he shook from coughing and gagging, the fire growing from his lungs to his throat. 

 

Both of his friends backed away for a moment, staring hard at Newt as he struggled to catch his breath and began to sob even harder. 

 

Thomas met his eyes in the midst of Newt’s crying and pursed his lips as he seemed to contemplate something. He finally turned away to look at Minho. 

 

”You two need to go ahead, get the serum, and get back to us as soon as you can.” He instructed. Minho began to protest before being cut off when Thomas spoke again. ”Minho. Go.” 

 

”He's right.” Gally chimed in. ”I’ll cover for you.” 

 

Newt gulped down more of the rising sour bile in his throat as he grabbed at Minho’s arm. He made an attempt to squeeze it, but his hand once again refused to do this simple task, shaking instead. His own body had completely turned on him. 

 

”Thank you.” Newt wanted to say so much more, but this simple thank you would have to do. He was lucky to get this much. Newt had a feeling Minho knew he wasn't thanking him for getting the serum, but for saving him that day in the maze. ”Thank you, Minho.” 

 

”You hang on, you hear me?” Minho blinked back tears as he got to his feet along with Gally. Newt somehow managed to twist his body to watch them both run out of the alley. 

 

He watched until they both faded away into a cloud of orange smoke. He knew in his heart that had to be the last time he was ever getting to see his oldest friends. 

 

The blackness and whispering had returned at full force and Newt didn't bother to fight it this time. He let himself drown in the sea of insanity. What was the point? He had actually succeeded at one thing in his pitiful life. He had rescued Minho. Newt had actually done it. 

 

He no longer asked the question “Why me?” like he had upon finding out he was infected. Newt accepted his fate and now only wondered when it would all just end. 

 

”Newt!” Thomas’ voice pulled Newt back to the surface, back to reality. He forced himself to focus on the boy’s face through the growing spots in his vision. 

 

”We have to go!” That was when Newt remembered he wasn't finished. He had one more thing to do before he let himself go completely. ”We gotta go!” 

 

”Thomas, no.” Newt tried to tell Thomas as he went to pull him off the ground. ”Thomas, wait.” 

 

He wasn't listening and Newt needed him to more than anything. He ripped the metal pendant off his neck and held it out to Thomas, but he still didn't notice. Now Newt was angry, he just needed Thomas to get this one little thing. He snapped. 

 

”Take it!” Newt screeched, finally gaining Thomas’ attention. He took the other boy’s hand, finding the energy to squeeze it. ”Take it.” 

 

”Please, Tommy, please.” 

 

At those pleading words, Thomas slipped the necklace out of Newt’s hand into his own, slipping the jewelry into his pocket. Newt exhaled then, satisfied. 

 

”Newt, I need you to give me everything you got,” Thomas spoke clearly, but seemed shaken by Newt’s outburst. ”It’s just you and me.” 

 

Newt nodded and clenched his teeth in preparation for the onslaught of pain he knew was coming. He had to at least try to make it. For Thomas. 

 

“Let’s go, buddy.” Newt let Thomas practically lift him up and wrapped his arm around his neck. He yelped as it seemed like every limb of his seemed to protest his every movement. Newt gladly let the darkness take him away from his deteriorating body for a moment.

 

When he came to, the first thing he heard was Thomas’ grunts of effort. Newt caught a quick glimpse of himself in the reflection of the shattered window Thomas dragged him past. 

 

He barely recognized the monstrous boy that stared back at him with the black soulless eyes and blood dripping down his chin. Newt didn't want to die looking like that, but he had no choice now. He fell back into the pool of nothingness. 

 

Newt felt his leg buckle and next thing he knew him and Thomas were on the hard cement. This had to be it now. His throat seemed to be closing up and he gasped for air. Had the virus finally done its job? 

 

It felt like it as Newt slowly lost consciousness. He was, in fact, dying in the streets of Wicked’s city, but at least he wasn't alone. He had Thomas by his side and that was enough for him. 

 

Newt couldn't bring himself to continue battling the festering virus inside him any longer. Not even for his best friend that was frantically pulling at Newt’s clothes, trying to get him back on his feet. 

 

His mind did one last good thing for him as the cheerful memory of meeting Thomas for the first time back in the Glade flashed by as Newt shut his eyes for what was hopefully the last time. 

 

Newt slowly pulled himself off the ground. He was somehow still alive and able to stand on his own. He couldn't remember how he’d gotten to this empty dark plaza. He couldn't remember much of anything.

 

”Newt?” 

 

Newt stared right at the unrecognizable figure standing in front of him, unsure what to do. A sudden surge of pure anger coursed through him as it clicked. All of the pain he felt right now was because of this boy. It was all his fault and Newt would make him pay. 

 

He let a growl escape him as he lunged forward to attack, ignoring the calls and protests from his victim. The other boy moved out of the way just in time and Newt hit the ground but was up again in a second. 

 

He tackled Thomas and the two rolled across the pavement as they hit at each other’s faces. Thomas. Thomas. Thomas, Newt’s best friend. What was he doing? 

 

Newt loosened his grip for a split second and Thomas broke free, quickly scrambling away. This couldn't be happening. He was supposed to be dead by now, not reborn into some monster. 

 

”Kill me!” Newt spewed out more bitter tasting bile onto the ground as he forced himself to stay on his knees. He just wanted his suffering to end. He needed it to end. ”Tommy, kill me!” 

 

Newt sprung to his feet, furious at everything and anything. Thomas didn't even have a chance to move this time before Newt knocked him to the ground, climbing on top of him. 

 

He punched and slapped at the boy underneath him, unable to even attempt to stop himself. The whispering little voices were screams now, telling Newt to do nothing but kill. 

 

”Newt! Please!” 

 

”Tommy?” Newt broke free from his disease caused rampage and simply stared his crying best friend. His worst fears really were coming true. He was hurting people and couldn't be possibly farther from his true self. ”I’m sorry, Tommy. I’m sorry.” 

 

He didn't know how much longer he had before the Flare took control again. He had to end this. Right here and right now. Newt remembered the gun in the belt of the Wicked uniform he was still wearing. 

 

In one swift movement, Newt grabbed the firearm and put it to his temple, still staring right at Thomas. It could all be over now in one motion. All Newt had to do was pull the trigger to kill himself and the murderous creature he had become. He-

 

”No!” Thomas yelled as he knocked the gun right out of Newt’s hand, sending it flying and landing several feet away. 

 

He was so close. Newt had been so close to ridding himself of the virus and leaving the horrible world that had never been kind to him. It was all Thomas’ fault. 

 

Newt wasn't sure if Thomas had heard the last quiet apology he managed to whisper but he hoped so. He let out an inhuman noise as his sinister crazed half took total control once again. Newt wished with every ounce of his sane self as he blacked out once again that he wouldn't regain consciousness.

 

<><><><><><><><><>

 

Thomas died that night and so did a huge part of Newt. Since then it had been two months of grief and guilt in the safe haven. 

 

Newt had stabbed Thomas right in the heart with a knife he didn't even know he’d had tucked away. Only a mere minute later, Brenda, Gally, Frypan, and Minho had shown up to the scene with the promised serum. If Newt had held himself together for just a minute longer… u

 

If he were brave enough, Newt would ask Gally how he lived with the gut-wrenching guilt every day of taking a friend’s life. He feared he was hated for what he had done under the influence of the virus, even though he knew deep down that wasn't the case. 

 

Newt had been standing at the large rock with a chisel in hand for several minutes, unable to bring himself to crave the name into it. 

 

”You can't give up.” Newt’s own words from months ago suddenly came rushing back to him. Thomas had listened to them back then and Newt had to right now. 

 

He slowly began to shape the letter ’T’ into the rock right in between ’Teresa’ and ’Chuck’. He’d make it look perfect for Thomas.


End file.
